I wanted to make a post about some of the things I’ve noticed and learned in the past 100 days.
- I don’t need to be drunk to misplace things or be forgetful.
I always summed it up to my drinking but surprisingly it turns out that side of my personality is just that, my personality – I still walk into rooms and forget what I went in there for, I still leave the house without my lunch and I still forget to answer texts back.
- Community is important.
The meetings I go to, the people I’ve met – it’s astonishing the power and inspiration they all have. There is an alcohol free movement that’s been gaining popularity all around the world, I’ve made friends both online and in real life that have been beyond supportive and are always there to lean on for support
- Sometimes I get sick of talking about not drinking BUT that is okay.
Some days it gets overwhelming and feels like it’s consuming every aspect of my life, I don’t want to write or read about anything to do with sobriety. Then there’s the days I want to shout it from the rooftops on what sobriety has done for my life and myself. Removing alcohol from my life has given me so many more opportunities and chances to be the person I wanted to be and always have been deep down. My life is full of achievable dreams & positive hobbies and activities I always wished I had time for. Alcohol is becoming a voided part in my life; while Sobriety is becoming a permanent part of my life and I’m learning the balance of when to write and talk about it and when to let it fall to the back of my mind and relax.
- There is no “off switch”.
Alcohol was my favorite off switch. A couple Captain and Coca Cola double-talls and I’d feel relaxed, a couple more and the numbing would start. It never failed to quiet my mind, drown my worries and let my responsibilities fall to the way-side. Removing the one thing that helped me relax in those moments and take the edge off has been trying. I’ve been trying to find healthier ways to let some steam off and unwind, without the alcohol.
- I’m nowhere near perfect, with or without alcohol.
SHOCKING *insert eye roll here*. I mean this one hurts to realize, unfortunately removing alcohol has nowhere near magically fixed my life and turned me into some perfect being. I know I get wrapped up in becoming some sort of finished product before any magic can truly happen. I have to remind myself that it’s a journey for good reason, trust the process and just keep doing the work. Most importantly, keep coming back.
- Give myself a break.
I know I am not going to be perfect at this, my whole life will not change overnight but I am putting the things in place that I need to reach my goals and my future self will thank me for it. Day by day, one day at a time. My life has changed quite a lot in 100 of those days that I had to take sometimes even one hour at a time…
- Find and Embrace Gratefulness.
Every morning my two best friends and I send three things we are grateful for, when one of us is slacking or struggling to find one to three things to list the other two help by reminding from an outsiders view things they may have forgotten they are blessed with. We have missed a couple days here and there but we always fall back into the swing of it, it’s a nice reminder to stop and look around – smile and know there are good things in your life despite the bad in the world.
- Surprising Perks.
I never realized what all I was missing out on while drinking the way I was. I’ll give you some examples;
- I get to control my reactions, I’m not so defensive constantly as I once was.
- The simplest of things, rather than going out to a bar for drinks and a bite to eat; I have been spending time with my family – literally sitting there and laughing while I attempt to win at Jeopardy (haven’t done so yet but it’s a work in progress).
- I’m present – I’m on time – I’m attentive. I’ve always had supportive people in my life and I never realized I wasn’t the same in return. With my sobriety I am now though. I am able to truly listen and provide sound feedback, rather than “Tell me who it is, I’ll get their ass”.
- I’ve lost weight!! While yes doing Herbalife is a part of it – it’s a huge difference from not drinking. The sugars and calories I used to consume is sickening when I look back at it.
- I’m discovering myself; “Sober Cayla” isn’t the Cayla I knew and claimed to have love. “Sober Cayla” is someone who I am proud to be.
So raise your glass filled with sweet tea, coke zero, water or whatever your new found beverage may be and Cheers to the next 100 days of sobriety and to the rest of my life.