When we are carrying the burden of our unprocessed pain, sooner or later it will inconvenience us. Many of us are going through our lives aware that there is a pool of pain underlying our daily emotions that we've felt for so long we honestly aren't even sure where it comes from. It almost … Continue reading
...The core of who we are remains the same. All my life I kind of just went with the flow of life, somewhere along the line though I started fighting the changes and ups and downs of my life. I thought I could change outcomes and somehow change whatever anyone saw when they saw me. … Continue reading We all change throughout life…
This is NOT my writing, I am sharing it simply because with everything going on, it hit my heart in a way that I can't explain. Click Here for the original blogger. Yes there is fear. Yes there is isolation. Yes there is panic buying. Yes there is sickness. Yes there is even death. But, They … Continue reading Lockdown
As if getting sober isn’t hard enough, I pretty much have to re-learn how to do anything and everything. While using alcohol, drugs or other destructive behaviors I had been numbing my emotions for years. I don’t know about anyone else but when I was drinking, relationships were most definitely not my strong suit; in … Continue reading Learning to love me
What happens when you let the person in the mirror down..
I had met Eli at a neighborhood lesbian bar, where I had been going on occasion for a couple years. The first night I laid eyes on her was out on the dance floor, this short beautiful brunette caught my eye and I couldn’t turn my gaze away. The music was loud, lights were flashing … Continue reading Eli
This one here, it is a bitter sweet memory for me. I had a crush on Demi growing up through most of high school, our families were close and we were often at each others family get together's. Anyways, I never told her I liked her or anything growing up and college obviously led us … Continue reading Demi
Growth is actually contagious, so if you want to reach your goals, you’ve got to get around people who are going in the same direction you want to be going, and you will catch the success.” —Dr. Henry Cloud Someone in my meetings had said "by getting sober WE changed the rules". I have … Continue reading Surround yourself with people who get it.
The bitterness of forbidden fruit is irresistible
I wanted to make a post about some of the things I’ve noticed and learned in the past 100 days. I don’t need to be drunk to misplace things or be forgetful. I always summed it up to my drinking but surprisingly it turns out that side of my personality is just that, … Continue reading 100 Days
I realized I hadn't done a well enough job at this transition between the old blog and the new one. So I figured no better time than now to give you all some background and explain why I started blogging just over a year ago and why it's changed recently. First and foremost, I do … Continue reading 50 Shades of Please Be Gay
We are more likely to meet people who share our values and goals when we maintain a positive and outgoing attitude in the presence of individuals we do not yet know. As someone who is "starting over" per say; it's vital that I surround myself with people who want to make themselves better, people who … Continue reading You can’t do EPIC shit with BASIC people.
Every year the University Suns high school had a winter basketball tournament and it had become a tradition that my teammate Ally and I had a sleepover that same weekend, we had never talked about me sleeping with girls or even kissing girls. She never seemed to show any curiosity but I of course had … Continue reading Ally
Ava is an inspiring woman. She is drop dead gorgeous without even trying but when you get to know her on a more personal level she is also funny and goofy and it makes her ten times more beautiful inside and out. To try and put into perspective the unwavering attraction I had towards Ava, … Continue reading Ava
They always say fall in love with your best friend - but what if you fall truly in love though? I am guilty of this a handful of times, I have done it as long as I can remember; it also hurts a lot differently as a lesbian or gay man - you ultimately … Continue reading Always wanting what we can’t have
One of the first girls to catch my attention in High school definitely made me realize my feelings started blossoming. I was beginning to realize I was attracted to several girls and this whole new world, if you will.. Opened up my mind and my life. I had my first girl kiss the summer going … Continue reading Mary
"Happily ever after" Finding your forever, building a family, making life long memories; that's the dream isn't it? I've been watching friend after friend get married, start a family and live all of the moments I've been dreaming of. Measuring my life up against anybody else is a waste of time because I will never … Continue reading One Day
I am not one who usually looks too deep into dreams or anything like that, so this will sound crazy This one dream has been haunting me, I had a crazy dream about three years ago... I was vacationing with a girl I was clearly with. I could see everything so vividly, her long wavy … Continue reading #FindingElizabeth
I have a tendency of staying too busy to actually feel my feelings. Since getting sober I have learned about this thing called agitated depression and it's opened my eyes to things I have been feeling for a while now, you could even say for a couple of years now actually. It is hard to … Continue reading All The Feels
Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disney World, except the ride is simply growing up. Your friends may not be rocked by the not drinking thing, it’s possible that if they aren’t engaging in their own path of self-discovery, there may be tension at some point while you figure yourself out, grow … Continue reading Evolving
My feelings seem to be all over the place - One minute I am on top of the world, unbeatable and invincible. The next minute, I am struggling, psychically drained and questioning if a sober life is worth this pain and chaos. If I ever had a long day at work or felt as if … Continue reading Emotional Rollercoaster
Two weeks sober and I had someone tell me I looked healthier and happier, while yes I was still having internal war-fare in my own mind; truth was I was in fact happier. I did in fact feel good too. Things I couldn't get the hang of in my new role (promotion) at work, I … Continue reading “You look healthier”
- I turned 29 this past July, my birthday party was a huge success - My best friend threw a huge surprise party with a giant water slide bounce house (yes, I had a giant bounce house at my 29th birthday; don't judge.) It was one of the few things that suited me, … Continue reading Outgrowing my own B.S.
While it is painful to forget someone, it is also painful to wait for someone but the truest pain, the toughest pain is trying to decide if you should wait or forget. Pain will always come and go. It is just one major component to the grand scheme of life and love. It is … Continue reading Pain
I'm practicing non-attachment. Accepting what comes and allowing it to leave when it's time. What's for me will be for me effortlessly. Non-attachment is also known as detachment, which is when someone can overcome a desire for people, places, things and concepts of life. Through non-attachment someone will experience a perspective to life that is … Continue reading Non-Attachment