As if getting sober isn’t hard enough, I pretty much have to re-learn how to do anything and everything. While using alcohol, drugs or other destructive behaviors I had been numbing my emotions for years. I don’t know about anyone else but when I was drinking, relationships were most definitely not my strong suit; in … Continue reading Learning to love me
What happens when you let the person in the mirror down..
I had met Eli at a neighborhood lesbian bar, where I had been going on occasion for a couple years. The first night I laid eyes on her was out on the dance floor, this short beautiful brunette caught my eye and I couldn’t turn my gaze away. The music was loud, lights were flashing … Continue reading Eli
They always say fall in love with your best friend - but what if you fall truly in love though? I am guilty of this a handful of times, I have done it as long as I can remember; it also hurts a lot differently as a lesbian or gay man - you ultimately … Continue reading Always wanting what we can’t have
I'm practicing non-attachment. Accepting what comes and allowing it to leave when it's time. What's for me will be for me effortlessly. Non-attachment is also known as detachment, which is when someone can overcome a desire for people, places, things and concepts of life. Through non-attachment someone will experience a perspective to life that is … Continue reading Non-Attachment
Nothing I ever do seems good enough for anyone, maybe that's why I am so hard on myself and why I am constantly angry with myself. How could I expect myself to have confidence and an ounce of self worth and pride when I don't get it from anyone else in my life. I'm not … Continue reading It is what it is
I think it’s time I let you go. It feels impossible to do because some part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life. But the day dreaming, the running in place, replaying my memories... it’s not healthy. I’ve been holding on to the tiniest bit of hope that … Continue reading It’s time
I made everything about you for so long, that is changing now. You were a mystery to everyone but me, I knew all of your secrets, every curve on your body and I loved that I knew it all while everyone else wondered. Now I sit here, wishing I could forget everything about you, I’m … Continue reading So this is what healing feels like..
I just want to go into a bit more detail about this blog and why I started it NOW. A couple friends and I used to joke that I'd write a book one day about all the girl's I've been with because none of them were actually into girls. I wrote about 3 chapters in … Continue reading Fear of Failure..
I thought I knew what heart break was, what infatuation was, what lust was, most importantly I thought I knew what love was. Little did I know you would change all of that, you would change my beliefs, you would change my life. When someone attractive enters into your sight your pupils dilate 20%. When … Continue reading The one that got away
I never really thought I would be a poetry fan until a book my friend suggested I read was brought into my life. A book by Rupi Kaur called The sun and her flowers. This book brought meaning to "moving on" and getting past relationships and heart breaks I never thought I'd move on from. This … Continue reading The sun and her flowers