As if getting sober isn’t hard enough, I pretty much have to re-learn how to do anything and everything. While using alcohol, drugs or other destructive behaviors I had been numbing my emotions for years. I don’t know about anyone else but when I was drinking, relationships were most definitely not my strong suit; in … Continue reading Learning to love me
What happens when you let the person in the mirror down..
I realized I hadn't done a well enough job at this transition between the old blog and the new one. So I figured no better time than now to give you all some background and explain why I started blogging just over a year ago and why it's changed recently. First and foremost, I do … Continue reading 50 Shades of Please Be Gay
They always say fall in love with your best friend - but what if you fall truly in love though? I am guilty of this a handful of times, I have done it as long as I can remember; it also hurts a lot differently as a lesbian or gay man - you ultimately … Continue reading Always wanting what we can’t have
I am not one who usually looks too deep into dreams or anything like that, so this will sound crazy This one dream has been haunting me, I had a crazy dream about three years ago... I was vacationing with a girl I was clearly with. I could see everything so vividly, her long wavy … Continue reading #FindingElizabeth
Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disney World, except the ride is simply growing up. Your friends may not be rocked by the not drinking thing, it’s possible that if they aren’t engaging in their own path of self-discovery, there may be tension at some point while you figure yourself out, grow … Continue reading Evolving
While it is painful to forget someone, it is also painful to wait for someone but the truest pain, the toughest pain is trying to decide if you should wait or forget. Pain will always come and go. It is just one major component to the grand scheme of life and love. It is … Continue reading Pain
I think it’s time I let you go. It feels impossible to do because some part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life. But the day dreaming, the running in place, replaying my memories... it’s not healthy. I’ve been holding on to the tiniest bit of hope that … Continue reading It’s time
Whenever I am going through a difficult time, I may hesitate to call even my best friends because I don't want to burden them with my troubles. This is especially true when I've been going through several challenges, even repeat challenges and I start to feel like I sound like a broken record. It is … Continue reading Call on me
I don’t care what anybody says. Its not hard to be loyal. Its not hard to be faithful. Its not hard to treat someone right. Its not hard to give someone reassurance. Its not hard to stick to one person. Its not hard to acknowledge someone’s worth. Its not hard to NOT break someone’s heart. … Continue reading Love is easy
I'm not the best runner but I continue to run. Running is the alone time that allows my brain to untangle the webs that have built up in my mind over the past day or two. Despite the pain, because it heals my emotional pain. Despite the self-doubt, because when I'm done - I've conquered … Continue reading Running is my therapy
The world needs more GOOD HUMANS
I made everything about you for so long, that is changing now. You were a mystery to everyone but me, I knew all of your secrets, every curve on your body and I loved that I knew it all while everyone else wondered. Now I sit here, wishing I could forget everything about you, I’m … Continue reading So this is what healing feels like..
How am I supposed to un-love the person that I can’t let go of?
This post isn't a normal one for this blog but it's weighing heavy on my heart this week, leading up to my birthday. If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. My life feels like it's been broken up into two parts, with Nannie and After Nannie. (Nannie is my great … Continue reading Grief
Lying to save your own face may make you temporarily pretty, you can paint this picture of yourself as a victim and innocent but the secrets that have been hiding in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing true colors, so don't be offended by the truth when it comes … Continue reading I owe you nothing