Today, I have been completely sober for 365 days. IN A ROW. Which is a miracle in and of itself. One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned in these past 365 days is if you want to die? Throw yourself into the sea and you’ll find yourself fighting to survive. You don’t want to … Continue reading 365
When we are carrying the burden of our unprocessed pain, sooner or later it will inconvenience us. Many of us are going through our lives aware that there is a pool of pain underlying our daily emotions that we've felt for so long we honestly aren't even sure where it comes from. It almost … Continue reading
...The core of who we are remains the same. All my life I kind of just went with the flow of life, somewhere along the line though I started fighting the changes and ups and downs of my life. I thought I could change outcomes and somehow change whatever anyone saw when they saw me. … Continue reading We all change throughout life…
There’s a question I have been pondering recently. What happens when we own everything we are? By ‘owning’, I mean speaking up about the pieces of ourselves that make us unique. It does no harm when speaking about the pieces of ourselves that we are proud of but by doing so only inflates our own … Continue reading The lost side of my story
As if getting sober isn’t hard enough, I pretty much have to re-learn how to do anything and everything. While using alcohol, drugs or other destructive behaviors I had been numbing my emotions for years. I don’t know about anyone else but when I was drinking, relationships were most definitely not my strong suit; in … Continue reading Learning to love me
What happens when you let the person in the mirror down..
For those who don’t know, I work two jobs, my Monday to Friday day job that is my career path. Then, a couple nights a week I manage and bartend at a local family sports restaurant; yes an alcoholic bartender, what a concept. Well, this is where a special saying comes in to play, after … Continue reading Bicentennial
The definition of sobriety is fixed for those who cannot control or have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Staying sober is more than just not using a substance. It involves living a healthy and productive life. It’s not about just dropping the bottle, it’s picking up those pieces and putting yourself and your life back … Continue reading 6 Months
Growth is actually contagious, so if you want to reach your goals, you’ve got to get around people who are going in the same direction you want to be going, and you will catch the success.” —Dr. Henry Cloud Someone in my meetings had said "by getting sober WE changed the rules". I have … Continue reading Surround yourself with people who get it.
This weekend has taught me one thing, I’m no longer the life of the party but that’s okay with me. I am going to own this “new life” of mine. My life has gotten quiet, it’s the Holiday season and I had not one but two holiday parties to attend. The first party, a woman … Continue reading ‘Tis the Season
4 months ago today I took my life back. By now most everyone knows that I am sober and for the most part it’s past the point of people congratulating me, trying to tell me “oh you didn’t have a problem” or privately asking me “don’t you miss drinking?” It almost seems like the buzz of … Continue reading 4 Months…
I wanted to make a post about some of the things I’ve noticed and learned in the past 100 days. I don’t need to be drunk to misplace things or be forgetful. I always summed it up to my drinking but surprisingly it turns out that side of my personality is just that, … Continue reading 100 Days
At 29 years old, I have personally asked myself the million-dollar question a handful of times "do I have a drinking problem?" I look inside myself, I am my toughest critic and I used to ask this question all of the time. I wondered if alcohol was holding me back, I couldn't figure out … Continue reading Alcohol is S#*T
We are more likely to meet people who share our values and goals when we maintain a positive and outgoing attitude in the presence of individuals we do not yet know. As someone who is "starting over" per say; it's vital that I surround myself with people who want to make themselves better, people who … Continue reading You can’t do EPIC shit with BASIC people.
Today is Day 50. It seems crazy to think that I made it 50 days without picking up an alcoholic drink. I can't even begin to describe how big my obsession to drink was and still is some days. I decided to keep some notes of things that I've learned that way I can look … Continue reading Five-Oh
I most definitely think you have a choice when it comes to how you may view not just stopping drinking but becoming sober and actively recovering. You can view it as something you HAVE to do or you can view it as a positivist, curiosity and as a good thing. You can view your … Continue reading 30 Days
I have a tendency of staying too busy to actually feel my feelings. Since getting sober I have learned about this thing called agitated depression and it's opened my eyes to things I have been feeling for a while now, you could even say for a couple of years now actually. It is hard to … Continue reading All The Feels
Dear Cayla, If you’re reading this, it’s safe to say you (we) are having a hard time silencing the voice in your head that is saying you can drink. The voice is telling you that you’re not really an alcoholic, if you are – just have a few to calm this feeling. It’s telling you … Continue reading A letter to myself
Day 21 of being sober - they say it takes 21 days to build a habit. While getting sober, I've tried building habits but it's hard when the obsession is still stronger than ever. I am growing and evolving but I'm realizing that I haven't let completely go of who I was when I was … Continue reading Life on Life’s Terms
I can’t forget whenever I stop drinking, it won’t solve all of my problems but I will be able to know now my real problems and not just the ones I’ve been creating for myself. I will have to face the ones I had been numbing and drowning away. Sobriety doesn’t mean my problems went … Continue reading No more numbness
Last night I went to my first watch party while being sober. I was with people I trust and love, at first it was fine; I brought my own jug of sweet tea and my own cup. I noticed I was drinking my sweet tea like my life depended on it... The game started and … Continue reading Sober Football Game..
Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disney World, except the ride is simply growing up. Your friends may not be rocked by the not drinking thing, it’s possible that if they aren’t engaging in their own path of self-discovery, there may be tension at some point while you figure yourself out, grow … Continue reading Evolving
My feelings seem to be all over the place - One minute I am on top of the world, unbeatable and invincible. The next minute, I am struggling, psychically drained and questioning if a sober life is worth this pain and chaos. If I ever had a long day at work or felt as if … Continue reading Emotional Rollercoaster
Two weeks sober and I had someone tell me I looked healthier and happier, while yes I was still having internal war-fare in my own mind; truth was I was in fact happier. I did in fact feel good too. Things I couldn't get the hang of in my new role (promotion) at work, I … Continue reading “You look healthier”
- I turned 29 this past July, my birthday party was a huge success - My best friend threw a huge surprise party with a giant water slide bounce house (yes, I had a giant bounce house at my 29th birthday; don't judge.) It was one of the few things that suited me, … Continue reading Outgrowing my own B.S.